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| 12:55am 14/12/2005 |
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hi everyone
i'm sick of this journal and its kind of stupid but i don't care
SO
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) xtianmark <-- go there instead |
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| 07:13am 11/12/2005 |
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music: godspeed you! black emperor - drugs in tokyo
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if any of you care i have a deviantart thing now
it has a lot of my stupid shit on it
check it out
http://scissoring.deviantart.com/
oh yeah
and godspeed is amazing
the end. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| How To Live Forever |
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| 02:23am 11/12/2005 |
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It all started one day when I was fulfilling my usual hunger. This time, it was heroin. I was in my house, which wasn't really a house, it was more of an abandoned warehouse that I had decided to live in, and I was preparing my usual spoon full of sugar. That's what I referred to as a spoon of heroin, it seemed to help make life go down. Next to me, this man had decided to burn himself to death, and there sat his ashes in a neat little pile. Well, while I was preparing my food, I dropped the spoon and there my heroin landed in the man's ashes. Around this time I really didn't give a shit about what I injected into my body, as long as it helped me forget for a little bit. So I just scooped up the heroin and the ashes and burnt them into liquid form. I sucked them up with my needle and injected them into my arm.
All of a sudden, my life flashed right before my eyes. Which really didn't mean anything because my life pretty much just consisted of drugs, being cold, and being hungry all the time. I saw a giant light in front of me, and I was coming out of my mother's uterus. I was crying and crying and this man in a white coat and a mask picked me up and set me down on a table. I couldn't stop crying and I wasn't sure why. Everything seemed so cold and bright and I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be back in the womb, where it was nice and safe and there wasn't anyone to bother me.
"The little shit won't shut up," my mother said lighting up a cigarette.
"M'am you can't smoke in here," the man in the white coat and mask said.
"Hey, it's my fucking kid and I can do whatever I want. Now bring that little bastard over here so he can feed on my giant milk jugs, that's what they're here for, right? Maybe they'll shrink a little bit and I won't have to haul these fucking things around all the time."
The man in the white coat and mask picked me up and I stopped crying. He held me in his arms for a little while, and it seemed nice and warm and so right, and then he dropped me down in my mother's arms. Cigarette smoke filled my lungs and I started to cough and cry again. She shoved her enormous tits into my face and I just cried even louder. The doctor picked me up and put me back on the table.
"I don't think he's hungry right now, m'am."
I woke up from this state and I was laying on the ground back in my abandoned warehouse. I had no idea what had happened to me, nothing like that had ever happened from doing heroin, usually I just laid there for awhile and stared at the leaky ceiling. I kept thinking about the ashes and how amazing my experience was. I decided I would keep injecting ashes into my body, I rather liked the feeling that someone elses life was flowing through my veins. That someones organs and flesh and memories were in me at this exact second, becoming one with my own. It was envigorating to say the least.
Well, after awhile the dead man's ashes ran out. So I decided to go out and get my own. I would kill other worthless homeless assholes and burn up their worthless bodies into a beautiful pile of ashes. And every night I'd inject them into my body and see more amazing visions. I felt like I could live forever, and I could, as I soon figured out. Years passed and I got older and older, but I kept injecting ashes into my body and I never aged. I was 103, and I still looked like I was 34. Hundreds of men and women's bodies were flowing through my veins, their remains keeping me alive and ageless.
Time had passed and I had seen so many things. People around me left and died, most murdered by me. Buildings knocked over and new ones built. Children being born, growing up, and then dying. But here I was, still 34 living in this shithole abandoned warehouse. It was all too much for me to handle after awhile, and one day, when I was around the age of 415, I decided I had to end it.
I wrote a little book called "How To Live Forever", and left it next to some other worthless homeless man like me. Maybe he'd read it and live forever. Maybe he'd just think I was some crazy homeless man and throw it away. Whatever he did with it, I didn't really care. I grabbed a gun I had stolen from some man, and positioned it inside of my mouth. And right before I pulled the trigger, the man in the white coat and mask's face appeared right before my eyes. He stared at me for a little while and then smiled. I then nodded, and pulled the trigger.
And there I laid on the cold cement floor, a waste of human life just waiting to be burned and injected into some poor sap's veins. |
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Read 17 - Post |
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| 02:53am 10/12/2005 |
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music: the melvins - heater moves and eyes
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i wrote a children's story!
Emily's Shiny New Penis
Once there was a young girl named Emily. One day, while eating her nicely prepared vegan breakfast, she decided she would like to get a cock. I mean, having a cunt was nice and all, there was a place to stash drugs! But an asshole could work just fine as a substitute, and how cool would it be to be able to fuck random holes? So Emily decided she would take a trip to the magical cock store today. She grabbed her coat and walked out the door to catch the bus.
After many hours of riding the bus with homeless people and crazy old Russian women who couldn't speak English, Emily finally arrived at the magical cock store. Hooray!!! As she walked in, she saw that the store was lined wall to wall with every kind of cock imaginable. Every color, shape, size, and deformity you could possibly think of. A woman came up to Emily, smiling.
"May I help you?" she said.
"Yes please, I would like to purchase your finest cock!" Emily replied.
"Oh, well than right this way!" the woman said while walking towards huge wooden doors. As she opened them up, there, under a huge bright light, stood the most beautiful cock Emily had ever seen. And well, she had seen some pretty amazing cocks. The woman took the beautiful cock down from a shelf it was resting on and gave it to Emily. Emily held it in her hands and marvelled at it. It was so smooth and it was made out of gold and shaped just right for maximum pleasure.
"Oh wow, how much?" Emily asked.
"Well, since I think you're cute," the woman said with a wink, "I'll give it to you for 36 dollars and 63 cents".
And it just happened that Emily had that exact amount of money in her purse. So she purchased the cock, rode the bus home, and skipped happily home.
When she got home she decided to perform a quick self-surgery. You know, just a small sex change. When she was done she now had a beautiful, huge gold cock.
"Wow!" she exclaimed looking at herself in the mirror. The cock sparkled and glistened in the light.
Emily decided to try out her new cock by fucking this dead body she had picked up a few days earlier on the side of the road. She rammed the beautiful gold cock into the dead man's asshole.
"HOLY SHIT!" Emily screamed as she penetrated the man's asshole deeper and deeper. Somehow, she jizzed all over the inside of his asshole. And because he was dead, the jizz shot all the way up through his body and out of his eye sockets. His eyeballs shot across the room and killed Emily's beloved cat.
"You asshole!" Emily yelled at the eyeball-less dead man. She quickly performed another sex change operation, turned back into a woman, and had a small funeral for her cat (many tears were shed). She picked up the gold cock and the dead man and decided it was best to get rid of them. So she burned them in a huge bonfire and invited all her friends over. They played Kumbaya and roasted marshmellows while the cum-filled dead man and the golden cock burned down to nothing into the night.
When everyone had left and there was nothing left to burn, Emily laid down for bed.
"Man, what a day!" she said as she turned out the lights and went to sleep.
THE END! |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| 08:21pm 05/12/2005 |
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FRIENDS ONLY.
because some people are assholes. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| 12:52am 05/12/2005 |
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people think they're so great
but someday we're all just going to die
and people will say "oh how sad"
and then eventually forget about you
and then they'll die
and eventually you'll be
completely gone
just a name on a grave.
so why do people work towards being the best and building the highest buildings and having the most money
the world is going to end someday
but people continue to work blindly
and it's all so pointless.
our whole lives we're told what not to do
and to go to college
and to make something of ourselves
and i just don't really care.
so you only get one life,
it's not like it means that much anyways. |
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Read 19 - Post |
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| 07:37pm 03/12/2005 |
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music: brother inferior - who will protect us
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i think i'm starting to grow up
and i like it
finally. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| 12:35am 03/12/2005 |
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music: dropdead - you have a voice
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tonight was fun
my throat hurts really bad
and my feet are probably frostbitten
but it was all worth it
besides the whole nathan thing
but oh well.
anyways,
dear people with cars that live by me,
let's hang out. soon.
emily.
oh yeah and i have finally figured out what i want in a guy
because basically if i "dated" any other guy he'd probably think i was clingy and crazy and leave me
so.
he has to be overdependent, and he has to have a lot of issues. like i mean rape or abuse or something, not like "O NOEZ MY MOM YELLED AT ME I'M GOING TO RUN AWAY" bullshit. and he has to need a lot of comfort. also he has to be really whiney so we always have something to talk about.
but also he has to be into not really "dating" but more like seeing each other a lot and caring about each other. and he can't call me and expect to talk for like 9 hours everyday. but he has to call me a lot and tell me about his day. and we have to see each other a lot. he can't be really tall, and he has to listen to good music (either thrash, hardcore, power violence or grind and i don't really care what else he listens to after that) and read books. and he has to be pretty intelligent, like enough to hold an intelligent conversation. and i don't really care if he's all that attractive, he just has to be attractive to me. umm what else. oh and he can't be afraid to cry around me, or be close to me around his friends.
so i'm pretty much thinking i either need to have a child, or become a lesbian.
oh well, i'm not that worried about dating anyways. i'm going to try to sleep off 3 cups of coffee now. what a pussy! hahaha latuhhh |
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| 01:16am 02/12/2005 |
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music: iron lung - cauterization
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blah blah blah
i hate sitting in my house and doing nothing
i'm so happy i am always busy lately
and my parents are getting... nicer.
umm what else
i am hanging out with kelly, kelly's boyfriend johnny, and nathan tomorrow
and then kelly on saturday
and then my dad is teaching me to drive on sunday
busy weekendddd
yayyy
oh yeah it was my mom's birthday today
happy birthday mommy i love you
and shut up everyone else, I'M NOT ASHAMED
latuhhh
ps. AND SO ENDS THE MASSIVE NIRVANA KICK... |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| 05:24pm 30/11/2005 |
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music: nirvana - molly's lips
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so apparently i'm a 13 year old angsty teenage boy mixed with an old, classy man in a 15 year old girl's body.
i have been listening to nothing lately but nirvana and eartha kitt haha
and i hope it snows tomorrow!
oh yeah,
and let me tell you.
life is like a breakfast.
i could use a little less sausage in my life
and a little more eggs
because sausages are greasy and smell bad
except eggs with ketchup are bad, too.
if you don't get this obvious metaphor i hate you
also i learned that the word "vagina" is actually opressive. and the word "cunt" is much more powerful towards women. i guess vagina derives from some word that meant "place to put sword in" or something. and cunt is more like powerful and blunt. so quit saying vagina and start using cunt because it's a lot cooler.
and i guess i'm a vegetarian now. not really to be "cool" and say that i am or anything, just because i'm tired of meat. every time i eat it i get really grossed out. i've always not liked meat except for chicken because i mostly hate chickens and don't feel bad about eating them. but damnit it's so sick how they raise them in factories and shit ughh. i really want to be a vegan but it's tough to make the switch since i'm really lazy about cooking and food. i'm sure it's probably not that hard though, so who knows. haha and oh yeah. i'm supposed to make cookies for drivers ed because i didn't have my book with me so i came up with this brilliant plan that i'm going to make horrible vegan cookies so no one will ever ask me to make cookies ever again. especially because my drivers ed class are all rednecks and they are like "YOU DON'T EAT MEAT?! VEGAN WHAT'S THAT?!" and if they ate vegan cookies they'd probably be like "THIS IS HIPPIE FOOD!!". yes i tell you, i am a genius.
well i'm gonna go now. i'm not sure what i'm going to do, but it will be something.
OH YEAH and i stayed up all night last night making this
oh man do i love magazines and copy machines
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Read 7 - Post |
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| 03:48am 30/11/2005 |
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okay i had two awesome conversations tonight
smokers lungs: would you have sex with oprah winfrey
bandagedemokid: no
smokers lungs: really
smokers lungs: why
bandagedemokid: i just dont love her
smokers lungs: oh
smokers lungs: good
smokers lungs: me neither
smokers lungs: the next time some random guy comes up to me and tells me im hot
smokers lungs: im going to say
smokers lungs: no im not
smokers lungs: and neither are you
smokers lungs: go away
crabtankmartini: oh man
crabtankmartini: i'd love that
smokers lungs: haha
crabtankmartini: capture it on video
smokers lungs: i should
crabtankmartini: for momories
smokers lungs: hahaha
smokers lungs: my digital camera has video on it
smokers lungs: hmm
smokers lungs: i wonder what would happen if you snorted prozac
crabtankmartini: hahahaahahahaha
crabtankmartini: you might die
crabtankmartini: im not going to encourage this one
crabtankmartini: dhahah
smokers lungs: haha i know
smokers lungs: id never do it
smokers lungs: im just wondering
smokers lungs: lets get some stupid drugged out worthless kid to do it
smokers lungs: and see what happens
smokers lungs: and laugh
smokers lungs: and if he dies i mean like
smokers lungs: its not like he'll be missed!
and i have not slept yet
and this song is really good
too bad i never saw nirvana live. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| 02:23pm 29/11/2005 |
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i almost died last night |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| 12:40am 29/11/2005 |
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there's nothing left for me
maybe i should just die
that will show them |
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Read 12 - Post |
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| 06:49pm 28/11/2005 |
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music: nirvana - aneurysm
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i keep writing letters to objects
dear hand,
why are you so small?
sincerely,
emily
dear paper,
you are made from trees. you are produced in a stinky mill in camas. i know people from camas. i have a lot of friends from there. except this kid named matt johnson. he is just weird. he's also bipolar. i don't hate bipolar people, i just hate matt johnson. i also hate beverly hills cop. what kind of movie is that? eddie murphy must have been on drugs or something when he made it. maybe he was hanging out with rick james. rick james is weird. he has ugly hair. if i was rick james, i would shave my head. i would probably shave my head anyways, but only to make some kind of anti-beauty statement. but i love my hair too much. and being bald is cold. it's cold right now. not now now, but this time of the year. christmas is coming up soon. i hate christmas. i'm probably scrooge or something. too bad i don't have any money to not give to the poor. if i had money, i'd probably give it to the poor though. poor people are cool. i'm not sure why, they just are. you know what else is like that? because i don't. i don't know a lot of things. but i read a lot. i know a lot about music, or i'd like to think i do. i probably don't though. i don't know what else to write about. goodbye.
sincerely,
emily
and
i have decided kurt cobain's life is very similar to mine
except for the whole divorce thing
and i like this quote a lot
"I really haven't had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I'd rather tell a story about somebody else. "
and
"If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got."
man it seems like he understands everything so well
i wish i was older in the 90's so we could have been friends |
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| 06:59pm 27/11/2005 |
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music: nirvana - all apologies
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congratulations
you win the award for saddest girl in the world. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| 01:25am 27/11/2005 |
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dear livejournal
im a litteld runk right now and
forrest dodenst love me
whdy doies he hate me
te end |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| 04:04pm 26/11/2005 |
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music: thurston moore - ono soul
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i painted this last night
i have no idea why
oh yeah, and i think i'm the last person alive to see pulp fiction
but it was awesome
i laughed really hard when they shot that guy's head off |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| 06:09pm 23/11/2005 |
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music: les georges leningrad - pekin pekin
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i feel sorry for the guy who one day has to have sex with me while i'm drunk
smokers lungs: hey jeremy wanna get drunk and have sex
smokers lungs: i bet it will be hot
theshudderclub: i bet it will be awfulo
theshudderclub: i bet i have erectile dysfunction
smokers lungs: hahahaha
smokers lungs: i bet ill sit there the entire time yelling YOU'RE NOT SPOCK GET OFF OF ME while you try to get your cock hard
smokers lungs: and then ill pass out and so will you
smokers lungs: and only then will your cock get hard
smokers lungs: the end.
theshudderclub: haha
theshudderclub: thats exactly what will happen
smokers lungs: i know |
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Read 9 - Post |
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| 03:04pm 22/11/2005 |
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music: emperor x - shut shut up
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people email me your addresses and ill send you a letter
i promise!
and maybe a mix cd if you want (please say so)
my email=scissoring@gmail.com
gogogo |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| 09:04pm 21/11/2005 |
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music: les georges leningrad - sponsorships
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so we finally dug out my grandpa's old camera
and let me tell you it is beautiful
it basically looks like this but black
last day of school tomorrow
and i get film
yessss
oh yeah and i got 3 gravy train!!!! records, a gravy train tshirt, and 3 gravy train posters in the mail today
kill rock stars also sent me a free 7", 2 krs stickers, and a bunch of postcard-looking things that announce new albums
and it was a good day
latuhhh
oh and ps. i'm sick of image-obsessed scene kids, but what's new
just everytime i look at them i want to laugh and slap them in the face for being so shallow |
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